Jan 16, 2010
Today I have been more productive in the tasks I want to get done than the past two weeks. What stops a person from doing what they want to do when they don't have to do anything? Procrastination, laziness, sloth, and depression are keywords for the type of feeling a person has when they are unwilling or incapable of doing what they want. The question of whether it is volition or predetermined is of great importantance. If it is volition a person can choose whether they are able to do what they want. If it is predetermined the person simply must wait until the period of inactivity is over. If we are convinced that the inaction is by choice we must find a way to force ourselves to act.
And so I have turned the corner and I don't know how. Perhaps it was encouragement from others in other projects, perhaps it's a sense of accomplishment that another project is finished. Does it make sense that a person would be unwilling to work on one project while another is in limbo or a broken state? Even if you aren't directly working on that project knowing that your future depends on it is enough to cause anxiety. This anxiety is probably enough to cause a form of depression or escapism. When I worry about the unknown I have two choices: do something about it or let it continue. Each has consequences and benefits. Often the choice to do something causes such fear and doubt that a person will avoid the very reasoning that should cause them to do something. This type of awful loop is certainly the cause of much grief in many people's lives. I am not at the point where I will give self- improvement advice to others but if my logic is correct a person might be able to understand something on their own based on my rather lame blog.
So, what's happening in my life? I'm starting a new dream job on Monday (it's a holiday but I think that MLK can be appreciated even if a person goes into the office so long as they have the choice). I'm so excited that I'm making trivial idiot mistakes. Last Monday I went into the office with evidence of something incredible and a new colleague and I went on a bug hunt and found after several hours an amateur bug in my test code. That's not the first impression I intended to make. However I am confident that I have plenty of time to impress my colleagues considering how much work we're going to be doing.
Also on my news list: I am definitely moving to downtown Seattle in the next few weeks. Sweet, right? I am planning on finding a really nice place with a view and room for a couch or maybe just a nice futon.
A very interesting news item to followers and friends of AltSci: AltSci is dissolving for the most part in a week. The software we developed is awesome and will continue development in my free time. My colleague Morgan who put tons of hours in the past 5 months into AltSci has been hired by a better company than AltSci and I have been hired as well (see above), which means there is nothing but evenings and weekends left for AltSci. I have no problem with that really. It can wait and the results we have made will all go towards the betterment of open source software which was the original purpose of AltSci.
Javantea out and about.Permalink